3.19.2013

Lies That Skinny Ashley Told Me

I was being such a good blogger and I had preplanned what I was going to write about today.  It was going to be all about my awesome time at the Chelsea Lately taping.  Sadly, despite our priority tickets, we didn't get in.  So, inspired by Chelsea, I give you Lies that Skinny Ashley Told Me!

I have been to the gym the last four days in a row, which is 3 more days in a row than any other time in recent history.  Like any soon to be former fatty, I have to tell myself a few lies to get there, get through it and go back for more.

Anyone that knows me well, knows I value the truth, I am honest to a fault and you'll always know where you stand with me... unless you are me.  You see, at the gym I have an inner liar.  Her name is Skinny Ashley. Here are just a few of the lies Skinny Ashley tell me at the gym.

"Just 5 more minutes."  It's never just 5 more minutes.  Skinny Ashley says this as soon as I walk through the doors and keeps telling me this until I hit my intended calorie burn for the day.

"See that totally fit girl, you can run/cycle/climb faster and longer than her.  Go ahead try it."  Skinny Ashley knows I like to compete.  Sadly I haven't won any of these silent competitions...yet.

"If you keep up this pace for the entire song, you get a treat on the way home."  Shut it Skinny Ashley, you never let me stop for ice cream!

"No one can see your fat juggling when you run."  I actually believed this one until I did a yoga class this weekend.  It feels like my muscles have been contracted since.  Oddly, it makes me also look about 3 months pregnant.  My burrito, french fry and everything dipped in ranch baby is a jiggling,  luckily I don't care!

"You don't sweat, you sparkle."  This picture proves otherwise.

"It's going to feel so great to get out of bed tomorrow."  No skinny Ashley, you are wrong.  In fact, I am so sore, I will be lucky to get out of bed tomorrow.

But Skinny Ashley doesn't just spew lies, sometimes she tells me the truth.

"You deserve to feel good about your body.  You can do this.  You are not a quitter.  You can live a happy healthy life."

Do you have an inner voice?  Is she a liar too?


9 comments:

Unpublished Life said...

Hahaha! I love this ... oh my goodness, I am all about the internal dialogue (former fatty right here ...) I have a little voice in my head who I stifle - she's called Fat Melissa.

Fat Melissa tells me lies. She tells me that I can reward myself with a chocolate croissant because I have been to the gym. She tells me I might as well eat the entire box of cookies because I've already eaten one and it won't make any difference. etc. etc.

Every day is a battle with Fat Melissa - but each day is a little victory too:)

Good luck on your journey!

http://unpublishedworksofme.blogspot.co.uk/

Mendy the Crazy Daisy said...

Unfortunately I think my inner Mendy died of a heart attack years ago due to too much chocolate and cheese, haha!!
Mendy
http://1crazydaisy3pokeyjoes.blogspot.com/

jackie jade said...

i think it's good for your inner self to trick you into motivation sometime haha. use her words to your advantage! seems to be working if you've gone 4 days in a row :)
-- jackiejade.blogspot.com

Casey said...

Oh girl... I definitely am not sparkling at the gym. I full on sweat like a beast. I have literally slipped in my sweat during zumba. To be fair my instructor also slipped on her sweat too

Treasure Tromp said...

this is fantastic. my inner voice doesn't even exist anymore. poor girl.

Kiersten said...

I definitely need to get me one of these voices - see when my inner lady tells me 5 more minutes, she holds to it and no sooner am I out of the gym than I'm in the dining hall...oops?
Had so much fun reading this!
<3 Kiersten

Bethann Wagner said...

Skinny Ashley is so much nicer than my inner voice! Keep it up girl!

Dinah Gacon said...

Loved this post!!!! Keep it up girlfriend!!! Really enjoyed reading..

P.S...excited to be a part of the messy project with you next month...hooray!!!!

xo Dinah @ sunshine super glam

Tara said...

Love this post! I definitely need a nicer inner voice!

I'm going to be at Elevate next month & look forward to meeting you!

Tara
www.aspectacledowl.com